Thursday, September 6, 2007

My Apologies

I should've been posting. Not that anybody is reading, but I still should have been posting.

I received my Domperidone with no problem. It was in my mailbox within 7 days of placing my order. I brought it home and put it in my cupboard. And there it sat. I still could not decide whether or not to try it without the birth control pills or not.

Finally, two days ago, I began taking it. At this point, I figure that I need to do something to put me in forward motion. I am still on the fence about birth control, but I figure I'll start with the Dom, resume pumping next week, and see what happens. I can always stop again and go for the birth control.

I think I am procrastinating on the whole thing because I am afraid to fail. Stupid, huh? I have nothing to lose here. I have already breastfed my own children. I am not planning on adopting a child. This whole relactation deal is for the experience. Yet I am afraid to fail.

I think the core of my fear of failure is that I am afraid of how I will react if I am unable to relactate. I remember how depressed I became after my youngest weaned, and that still scares me. Also, I hate to say I am going to do something, and then not do it.

So, my current game plan is this: take Domperidone for a week, then begin pumping again. If nothing happens, I'll talk to my doctor about the pill. We'll see what happens!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Breastmilk and Sudafed

I have a cold. A stinking, nasty, exhausting summer cold. I feel terrible and I'm popping Sudafed to keep me sane. It's gotten me thinking though, about how Sudafed can affect breastmilk, and I am ultimately happy that I've got the cold now, while I am waiting for the Domperidone to come in.

Sudafed and other decongestants have been reported to decrease milk supply. I know that I hesitated to use decongestants when I was nursing, preferring to treat myself with Vic's Vapo Rub, hot baths and saline nasal sprays. Usually, if I had a cold, my little one did too, so I treated us the same way, taking advantage of the time to sit and nurse and enjoying the comfort nursing gave us both.

With the week I've had though, I've already wondered how pumping would have fit into our schedule. I was barely home all day Tuesday, I was out all morning Wednesday, and now, although I'm lucky enough to be home and have some down time, I am miserable with a cold.

I know I want to do this. I am determined. I have been considering it for over a year. The full force of the logistics and reality of fitting pumping into my schedule every 2-3 hours for a while, and even every 4 hours later on, though, is only coming to me in bits and pieces. The sacrifices that I made for nursing my children takes on a different perspective when I consider making those same sacrifices for some undefined and altruistic purpose that may or may not come to fruition.

Domperidone

I ordered Domperidone from this website based in a country that offers it with out a prescription. The pills come in 10 mg form and according to the Newman/Goldfarb protocol should be taken 30 mg, 3 times per day.

3 pills
x 3 times per day
= 9 pills per day
x 7 days per week
= 63 pills per week
x 4 weeks
= 250 pills per month

The pills came in packets of 100, so I ordered three. My total, shipping and all, was $50. Hopefully the package will have no problems in delivery.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Rethinking My Strategy

I thought I had done my research on relactation. It did seem a little simplistic that I could relactate by pumping alone after more than a year of not nursing, but I thought that was what I had read. In fact, the story that first stuck in my mind was of a mom who was relactating for her teenage son who had been diagnosed with Crohn's disease. In my mind, my recollection of the story, she relactated after more than 15 years of not nursing, by pumping alone. For future reference, don't trust my recollection alone - wait for a link to back me up!

The majority of information on relactation available pertains to women who have recently weaned, are dealing with supply issues and/or poor breastfeeding management, who have an infant near them to support the nursing process, and who have given birth recently. Not me. There is also some information for adoptive mothers, most of which applies to women who have not had children, but who do or will have an infant near them to support the nursing process. Again, not really me. So I kept going back to the original story of the mother relying on pumping to relactate for her teen.

I looked up the story again, in the Lactnet archives. She went through much more than I recalled. Birth control pills to simulate pregnancy, herbs to stimulate supply, pumping around the clock while establishing her supply.

I also found a great article on relactation on Mama Dearest which covers the Newman/Goldfarb protocol for induced lactation. This article explains why birth control alone, or Domperidone alone, are not as effective as the two combined.

I think much of my confusion about how to get started stems from the fact that when I first began considering relactation, I was still lactating. My almost 3 year old was still nursing at bedtime most nights. I was beginning to feel the desire to pump and increase my supply, but didn't really have the drive to do so. Add in the nasty depression I had shortly after weaning officially, and you have a very faulty memory!

I struggled this morning with whether or not to continue to pump, or to get a prescription for birth control pills and Domperidone before continuing the process. I have decided to wait. I will order some Domperidone from an over-the-counter source across the pond and make an appointment with my new (and wonderfully lactivistic) doctor for Yasmin birth control.

The birth control scares me a little bit. It's been more than 10 years since I've tried birth control pills, but when I did, it was a disaster. I tried three different types of Ortho, none of which I can remember specifically now, but all of them had terrible side effects. Two made me violently moody and one type sent me into a depression. Not something I want to experience again. I am hoping the progesterone based pills needed for the relactation process will not have the same effects, and if they do, that the relaction works quickly enough that I can dump the birth control pills and rely on the Domperidone for a while.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Sore Nipples and Memories

Here it is, 28 hours after my first pumping. I don't know what I expected, but sore nipples was, for some reason, not among my expectations. I have a slightly inverted nipple on one side (TMI, sorry), and the pump is drawing it out, which is good, but it hurts!

Because I am not nursing a baby, I am able to take some liberty with treatment. I don't have any lanolin cream, so I am using Neosporin with pain reliever. I wouldn't touch Neosporin, especially with an added pain reliever, if I was going to be putting a baby to my breast between pumping.

The pumping is getting more comfortable now than it was last night, and much improved since first thing this morning. I have gotten no measurable amount of anything yet today. Last night I pumped maybe 1/8 of a teaspoon at my last pumping of the night, but no more than a drop or two per side today. I can only imagine how frustrating it would be to also be exhausted from labor and delivery or surgery and trying to do this!

While I was pumping, painfully, this morning, I recalled one of the first times I ever pumped. This would be a little over 10 years ago. My first born was just a few weeks old. I had a super cheap, battery operated, single pump made by Gerber that I paid maybe $20 for. I remember hooking it up to my breast, the side with the slightly inverted nipple, and pumping for a while. When I went to check how much milk I had pumped, I saw only blood in the flange from the laceration when my nipple was drawing out. That was the day we called the lactation consultant. Looking back, that was probably the day that changed my life, because meeting that lactation consultant introduced me to a world I didn't know existed!

I had always understood that you had a baby and you breastfed. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. How long you should/could nurse never crossed my mind. That there was an entire profession dedicated to helping with breastfeeding was news to me!

Time to pump again. Then do a little more research on relactation. I'm wondering how long before I see a change from yellow/clear sticky fluid to milk. I wonder if it will feel like Lactogenisis II, or if it will be a gradual change. I wonder if I'll be able to find the info.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Relactation

I am a firm believer in human milk as the biologically normal way to feed infants. In my lactopian world almost all women choose to breastfeed, they have the support systems in place to succeed, and women who are unable to breastfeed have easy, affordable, safe access to donated human milk. I have been sharing my vision with other lactation -minded people for some time. I have encouraged other women to donate their breastmilk to human milk banks. But, I have yet to "put my money where my mouth is", so to speak. So, I have decided to try to relactate for the purpose of donating my milk.

Today is day one of my attempt to relactate. My expectations are mixed. My early attempts will be simple stimulation with a Pump In Style, 15 minutes every 3 hours or so. I pumped for the first time ever with a quality, electric, double pump this afternoon and got 2 drops of...something. I guess it could be considered colostrum as it was yellowish and sticky, but I've only ever though of colostrum as it relates to being produced during pregnancy and the early days post partum. By my third pumping of the day, I expressed 2 drops from one side and several from the other side.

The pumping experience itself was different than I expected. When I was nursing I used a manual Avent pump to pump an occasional bottle for my boys. I've given countless mothers pumping tips and info, but never actually experienced much of it myself. The power of the suction surprised me. For the first time I understand why a different sized flange can make such a big difference in how much milk a mother can pump. I can understand the confusion about how a baby sucks vs. how a pump removes milk. I can understand both why a pump would be more comfortable than a baby and how a pump could cause damage to the breast tissues.

This project will hopefull give me a deeper understanding and greater ability to help mothers who choose to exclusively pump and more experience to draw from when offering help to mothers returning to work. It will also, hopefully, raise awarnes of human milk banks and milk donation. With a little luck and persistance, it will also provide a baby or two with much desired human milk.