My Apologies

I should've been posting. Not that anybody is reading, but I still should have been posting.

I received my Domperidone with no problem. It was in my mailbox within 7 days of placing my order. I brought it home and put it in my cupboard. And there it sat. I still could not decide whether or not to try it without the birth control pills or not.

Finally, two days ago, I began taking it. At this point, I figure that I need to do something to put me in forward motion. I am still on the fence about birth control, but I figure I'll start with the Dom, resume pumping next week, and see what happens. I can always stop again and go for the birth control.

I think I am procrastinating on the whole thing because I am afraid to fail. Stupid, huh? I have nothing to lose here. I have already breastfed my own children. I am not planning on adopting a child. This whole relactation deal is for the experience. Yet I am afraid to fail.

I think the core of my fear of failure is that I am afraid of how I will react if I am unable to relactate. I remember how depressed I became after my youngest weaned, and that still scares me. Also, I hate to say I am going to do something, and then not do it.

So, my current game plan is this: take Domperidone for a week, then begin pumping again. If nothing happens, I'll talk to my doctor about the pill. We'll see what happens!

Domperidone

I ordered Domperidone from this website based in a country that offers it with out a prescription. The pills come in 10 mg form and according to the Newman/Goldfarb protocol should be taken 30 mg, 3 times per day.

3 pills
x 3 times per day
= 9 pills per day
x 7 days per week
= 63 pills per week
x 4 weeks
= 250 pills per month

The pills came in packets of 100, so I ordered three. My total, shipping and all, was $50. Hopefully the package will have no problems in delivery.

Rethinking My Strategy

I thought I had done my research on relactation. It did seem a little simplistic that I could relactate by pumping alone after more than a year of not nursing, but I thought that was what I had read. In fact, the story that first stuck in my mind was of a mom who was relactating for her teenage son who had been diagnosed with Crohn's disease. In my mind, my recollection of the story, she relactated after more than 15 years of not nursing, by pumping alone. For future reference, don't trust my recollection alone - wait for a link to back me up!

The majority of information on relactation available pertains to women who have recently weaned, are dealing with supply issues and/or poor breastfeeding management, who have an infant near them to support the nursing process, and who have given birth recently. Not me. There is also some information for adoptive mothers, most of which applies to women who have not had children, but who do or will have an infant near them to support the nursing process. Again, not really me. So I kept going back to the original story of the mother relying on pumping to relactate for her teen.

I looked up the story again, in the Lactnet archives. She went through much more than I recalled. Birth control pills to simulate pregnancy, herbs to stimulate supply, pumping around the clock while establishing her supply.

I also found a great article on relactation on Mama Dearest which covers the Newman/Goldfarb protocol for induced lactation. This article explains why birth control alone, or Domperidone alone, are not as effective as the two combined.

I think much of my confusion about how to get started stems from the fact that when I first began considering relactation, I was still lactating. My almost 3 year old was still nursing at bedtime most nights. I was beginning to feel the desire to pump and increase my supply, but didn't really have the drive to do so. Add in the nasty depression I had shortly after weaning officially, and you have a very faulty memory!

I struggled this morning with whether or not to continue to pump, or to get a prescription for birth control pills and Domperidone before continuing the process. I have decided to wait. I will order some Domperidone from an over-the-counter source across the pond and make an appointment with my new (and wonderfully lactivistic) doctor for Yasmin birth control.

The birth control scares me a little bit. It's been more than 10 years since I've tried birth control pills, but when I did, it was a disaster. I tried three different types of Ortho, none of which I can remember specifically now, but all of them had terrible side effects. Two made me violently moody and one type sent me into a depression. Not something I want to experience again. I am hoping the progesterone based pills needed for the relactation process will not have the same effects, and if they do, that the relaction works quickly enough that I can dump the birth control pills and rely on the Domperidone for a while.